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I've been warned off dating any man who is recently single. Do you believe in rebound relationships or a time frame for dating men who have just gone through a break up or divorce? It matters what the person (guy or woman) experienced and learned from the prior relationship. It's often assumed that relationships occurring soon after a breakup, divorce or widowhood will be Transitional..there's scant proof of to back that up.In fact, what I wrote to Judy in this article, advising her not to wait to date the recently widowed, was written too narrowly.Second, men who’ve been in long, successful marriages are usually men who value long, successful marriages.You could think of them as commitmentphiles (not -phobes), the refreshing single men who want to be married, know they want to be married, and love being married. Nor is your grieving widower cowering from relationships from fear of having his dumped/mistreated past repeat itself.No matter how you’re experiencing Frank, if he’s been Weird with others in his past, Weirdness is in your future with him. But then she picked up some kind of red flag and told me "Sorry, we aren't an item any more." I was still mystified (although I should not have been) because I hadn't yet admitted to myself that I needed to be a bit more autonomous (less pliant and deferential? But man, that second relationship sank the lesson in deep.
Thus, get thyself to a grief group now—one that focuses on bereavement following a spouse’s death. Worst case, you heal more of your own grief and you make some friends who understand your losses while you help with theirs. You meet your man and say Yes when he asks you out…even if his wife’s death was recent. With technology as your guide, it’s easier than ever to light an old flame~and the relationships that ensue tend to be among the very happiest, especially if you’re renewing ties to a first love.
Breaking it down more finely, men who are divorced but childless often attempt remarriage with women who have never been married, and men who are divorced and have kids often try to wed a woman who has divorced but who has no children of her own.
Clearly there are many exceptions; you're reading the words of one now.
Returning to your query, I don't know of research on whether rebounding seems to happen after breakups, but from the marriage and widowhood data, it looks unlikely. I'd like to take a bit of your idea and expand on it here. Folks who have had the hardest, bitterest relationships before often really do have a tougher time establishing a stable, happy relationship.
Instead, the data appear to say most of us, most of the time, find that the best cure for an old love is a new love--and that most of us seek that out sooner rather than later. Yes, indeed, it surely does matter what both people have gone through before getting together with someone new. Those data are correlational, though, so I could be wrong that the hardships cause the emotional shutdowns later.
Such men are unlikely to be playboys, hard drinkers, druggers, abusers, laze-ers, insane, emotionally unavailable, or any of the other Weird aspects of personality or character that routinely get the heave-ho.